I think a lot about all the things we don’t get to grieve (a breakup, a lost promotion, a life not going as expected…). What happens to all these things? Do they disappear, or do they accumulate, taking up mental space and sapping our energy? If the latter, how do we exercise those demons? 

The Grief Recovery Handbook explains that, “Unresolved grief tends to separate us from ourselves.” We must create closure for ourselves to be at peace. Here is one practice to help turn the page on your own terms. I learned this letter-writing exercise, among many others, through grief coaching with the Grief Recovery Method. 

The ritual is all about saying goodbye, expressing what has been unsaid, and finding forgiveness so that you can move on. This exercise is for your eyes only, never meant to be sent to other parties involved. You forgive for your own peace and pleasure. 

In the spirit of sharing my process, here is my latest letter…

_{Seeing you that day, I don’t think it set me back, but it did make me see that it's time to close the door. I can’t yoyo anymore. I don’t want that feeling for myself, and it's not aligned with the future I wish (and I think you wish) for me. While the setbacks might be smaller each time, they still cause a drag and energy drain, and I cannot lie that there is a significant cost associated with them.} 

_{I am also a real believer in clearing out the old to make room for the new, and when I metaphorically have a box of your stuff sitting in my living room, ready to be removed, but I still hang onto it. I need to set us both free and make space for whatever and whoever comes next.  I can’t expect the universe to bring me to my next chapter while I still cling to the last.}

_{I am grateful to know you- in past and future lives.  No known words can express the heart swelling knowing you have given me, and the feelings and expectations I now see are possible.}

Hot take: everyone is a hopeless romantic at their core. Even if they won't admit it, we all wish we could fall so in love that we die on the same day as our beloved.

But there's a real gap between romance and reality. Not every great love is meant to be. Everything is about timing, and life gets in the way. Love doesn't care about logistics, but life does.

So, I accept that life is full of love, and not all of it is meant to be forever. That's beautiful. You don't need to force everything to fit in some box or artificial construct.

This is my love letter to cuffing season, crushes, loves lost, and future flames; they warm the heart and make us forget the rest, if even for a moment. Burn baby burn. 🔥🔥🔥

Thank you to the person who sent me this and reminded me that we don’t know what “yes” is waiting for us just around the corner.

And the name? Abandon the Script. It’s my reminder to drop the invisible rulebook I followed for years, the one built on “shoulds” and expectations that never belonged to me. Whenever I’ve ditched that script, I’ve felt the most alive and the most myself. So that’s the through-line here: choosing the version of life that feels true, electric, and unmistakably mine.

Stay unscripted!

🖤 Emmy Lu