Performance Be Damned

Malcolm Gladwell (ugh, I know, but he did) reminds us in Outliers that  the Beatles weren’t born the Beatles. Greatness begins with doing one repetition at a time. More importantly, it starts with just starting. Especially even when you're not good yet, even when you haven't found your rhythm.

So I urge you: do enough friction-filled reps until you get into the rhythm. 

Performance be damned. Do the awkward thing without worrying about the results, or you may never start at all.

I came into the death market as a complete outsider. Within six months, someone pointed out that I was probably one of the few experts in the world at it. Fuck, that felt cool. I was really a spooky bitch now.

But actually—diving headfirst with my beginner badge got me to some level of expertise without even realizing it. When I'd go into calls with people I considered experts, I'd set my mindset to: beginner, learning, curiosity.

Saying you're a beginner is a starting point for any journey. It's permission to suck for a bit. Permission to not know. Permission to learn out loud.

Beep borp boop. Nothing makes me feel more like a rusty, malfunctioning robot—and simultaneously like a small, scared child than having to acknowledge what I actually want.

Weirdly, discovering what I want even to myself feels the worst. I feel so vulnerable and adult, all the things I hate. Having needs, especially unmet ones, is the worst. Is it just me?

Once you acknowledge it—shit, I'm not getting my needs met—now what? This revelation just created new work for me. I know I'm unsatisfied and a bit empty. I already tried a snack, and that didn't fill the void (just in case you were wondering if that was the fix. Consider me your one woman Mythbuster. Myth. Busted.).

How do we address the emptiness? Do I actually have to go out on a ledge and see if someone will meet me there after I've likely told them they're being inadequate in some way? Isn't that what "not getting your needs met" or "your boundaries have been violated" means?

Okay, [my ADHD demon says I should ] [reader] I'll just skip to the end: Some of the greatest moments of relief and empowerment I've experienced this year have come from telling someone my needs or being stern in my commitments.

These moments have resulted in more clarity and closeness, and less wasting of my precious time and energy.

Turns out those rusty robot squeaks are just what self respect sounds like before it becomes fluent.

P.S. with book references: Inspired by The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and Language and the Pursuit of Happiness by Chalmers Brothers.

What script are you following that demands you already be good at something before you start? Hit reply and tell me.

Stay Unscripted 🖤

- Emily